Inspector Clouseau “Clair’s the Air” about the Fire


Asked exactly how it is possible to exclude arson and terrorism as causes of the Notre Dame Fire when no other cause has yet been identified, Inspector Clouseau of the French Sûreté Irrationale explained it thus:

“C’est le chien ne barquez pas dan la nuit. Ze flamme eet ees Zut Zut, non? Pas de gasoleons. Pas de Zippo, non? Oui oui, c’est fini. Pas d’arsonne. Pas de Towelhead Muzleem zaboteurs.”

TRANSLATION: “It’s the dog that didn’t bark in the night. The fire is Zut Zut(?), right? No gasoline. No Zippo lighter, right? Yes indeedy, that’s all she wrote. No arson. No saboteurs of the Muslim persuasion, because we all know Islam is a religion of peace, okay? Okay?”

Makes sense. There’s always a Zippo when it’s arson, regardless of what kind of accelerant is used. That’s the thing the arsonist does. He clicks that Zippo in a sinister way with an evil laugh and tosses the lighter into the combustibles on the floor. We’ve all seen it a hundred times. But there’s no Zippo at Notre Dame. The French must be right about this. They did invent reason you know.

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