An Important Editorial Note by the Today’s News Staff



Sorry about that last news headline. Just fired the little bastard, where were we? Bad day here.

We are a very important, non-lying news organization. It has come to our attention that there is no news today of any kind, except for three more essays by Victor Davis Hanson that would put people in jail if there were anyone left in this nation with an eighth grade reading ability.

There isn’t. OMG. Tetrazzini? There just isn’t. Any News.

Look in tomorrow. We will dig deep for news. Promise.

There’s one really long article about climate change we could post today. We’re still thinking about. Check back later. Chet thinks it’s hot stuff. Which is kind of our subtitle.

The Undercritters are under orders to give you ten Hot Headlines. They’re telling me the union will act up if we make them look bad. So, after the The Climate Change thing, just wing it, okay? It’s not News.

_______________
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