An Unsettling Presidential Mystery

 

The Bausch & Lomb Aviators the President rarely ventures outdoors without.

I’m sure we’ve all heard his tales of derring-do as a Top Gun instructor in the Navy’s Fort Lauderdale fighter pilot training base back in a day. His missions were so Top Secret and hazardous that his many medals for valor have never been made public. That’s just the kind of guy Joe is. You’d never know.

Initially we just wanted to verify that these really are the Special 
Pilot’s Issue of the most famously heroic sunglasses in the world.

Well, they are special. Very special indeed. We decided to take a closer look inside the lenses through the advanced functions of today’s image processing technology. Here’s what we found.

Hmmm. It doesn’t even look as if there are any eyes in there.

We have stumbled on a mystery indeed. The implant mechanism above the left eye is simply not standard Bausch & Lomb equipment. The company turned down our inquiries and referred us to the Secret Service. 

That’s where stand — or sit — now. We don’t know who to ask, what to do, how to find out if some sinister or threatening is being done to the President or the nation.

Don’t tell anybody you read this. In fact, forget we wrote it. We’d like to, but we can’t. Not just this minute. We’ll have to puzzle it  out.
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