A Tragic Day for an Historic Family

 Is Nothing Sacred to Republicans?

He was a great man. But you can’t pick your descendants.

You see, this happened sometime last night and early this morning. 

There is death and then a murder of crows. T’was ever so.

By great good happenstance, the final act of revolting destruction was witnessed by Edith Zaplowski, the gap-toothed waitress Joe Biden immortalized in his winsome New Yorker profile a couple presidential runs ago. She recognized the driver of the tractor that dumped the crushed remains of the Rodney statue at the Thomas Capano Memorial Landfill, just off the Brandywine Extension from Bear, DE. Not only that, she had a Polaroid of the presidential blasphemer immediately after his dismount from the crushing machine.

It was crumpled but recognizable. Edith 
is now searching for the camera she used.
She’s sure she safetied it somewhere.

 Congressman Schiff had been present at a Biden family luau celebrating the end of inflation and immediately phoned the Attorney-General, Merrick Garland, who was so concerned he broke off with an advisory dinner he was having with his son’s roommate at Choate. APBs and BOLOs flew fast and furious from DC all over the country, seeking one Donald John Trump. The FBI followed soon after. The Attorney-General of the State of New York, which is only miles from Delaware, issued a “Bronze Alert” (a new designation invoked when an esteemed person’s ancestor’s statues are vandalized beyond repair) and ordered an investigation into the doings of the prime suspect’s activities between the years 1988 and 2022. He issued a subpoena for all family documents and phone calls during that 35 year timeframe.

A Florida State Police SWAT Team made contact with former President Trump at his Mar a Lago resort within minutes of receiving the BOLO. “They’re at it again, Mr. President,” he said. “Anything we can do, you let us know. We’re always happy to kick some northern ass.”

Hearings are already scheduled in the House and Senate. Schiff is petitioning for a Special Prosecutor. Nancy is promising all possible assistance, which Congressman Schiff acknowledged with a prized loofah.

The crows are flying. And Donald Trump is laughing the laugh of a MAGA King.





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